I decided to dedicate a post to the new whirlwind, out-of-the-blue craze known as Snapchat, not because I think the App deserves the attention - as if it needs more attention anyway - but because I feel like the pointless fake fun it offers commands a verbal beating. If you have never heard of it and, thus, are unaware of what Snapchat is, good for you and stop reading now because my advice is that you keep it that way. Snapchat is not worth the spot in your memory.
"You control how long your friends can view your message - simply set the timer up to ten seconds and send. They'll have that long to view your message and then it disappears forever."
Has there ever been anything more pointless? Ten seconds!? What self-respecting human being dreams of being able to view a message/picture for ten seconds or less? It's a stupid idea for stupid people by stupid people. If you post a message that takes no more than ten seconds to read, it is most likely meaningless and you should be ashamed to have spent any amount of time creating it yourself.
"Rated 12+ for the following: Infrequent/Mild Sexual Content or Nudity, Infrequent/Mild Alcohol, Tobacco, Drug Use or References to these, Infrequent/Mild Profanity or Crude Humor, Infrequent/Mild Mature/Suggestive Themes."
'Girls post pictures of their tits and stuff!' Why act as if viewing a girl's breasts for a very, very short period of time is the best thing ever when you live in a world where many girls will show you them willingly for a much longer time frame? Even failing that, you have a seemingly endless line of websites where you can watch far better looking women do far filthier things for hours on end if you really have to! Besides, you could find yourself staring at things you don't want to see by the same token. At least the creators are clued up enough on the adolescent mentality to know that this is the sort of bullshit that people will use it for, even if they have slightly misjudged how far people will go by putting the words 'infrequent' and 'mild' next to every entry. Even so, if you're uploading a picture of your penis for as little as three seconds, it's not exactly going to get a chance to have much impact on anyone.
"Build relationships, collect points, and view your best friends!"
Indeed, it appears they forgot to explain how someone is supposed to find any points to collect in an application as supremely pointless as this one. What do they mean 'build relationships?' If you've built a relationship based on photographs which last the same amount of time it takes Usain Bolt to run a hundred metres, I put it to you that it is about as meaningful as Wayne Rooney's belly-button fluff. Also, if I wanted to "view" my best friends, I would call them up and ask them to come meet me or I would go to their house. You can't have those things as a temptation because they're either worthless or nothing we can't get on a regular basis anyway... or both.
Through all of this rise in technology filled with social media - such as Twitter, Facebook and Instagram - I have buckled under peer pressure just about every single time, but this is by far the easiest social networking 'fad' there has ever been to ignore and say 'nah, I'd rather chew on my own testicles than download that shit.' It's about time we scrapped this whole social network crap and got on with our lives without feeling the need to tell every other person as if it's worth the energy it takes to look at it.
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What do you think? I won't be reading it, so knock yourself out.