As I've been typing these blog posts over time - not as consistently as I would like, admittedly, but I have a lot of unpublished 'drafts' on here that I haven't been able to finish because my mind travels through so many topics at such an alarming rate - I've talked a lot of trash about the X-Factor. I'm not about to retract anything I've said because I really do hate everything about it, but I'm aiming this one more towards the new(ish) blood. The Voice.
I remember a time, around about when The Voice was first advertised, where the general public were sitting up, like the mutated puppets they are, and saying things like 'it's totally different to X-Factor' and even going as far as 'the format is better than the X-Factor' which isn't the most demanding of challenges, but it was as if The Voice was going to be far more legitimate and credible. Like most people, I fell for it to begin with. However, unlike most people, I had enough presence of mind to realise early on that it was a sham. I can't say that it's exactly like the X-Factor, but it's as close as it could ever be without actually being the X-Factor. After all the talk about how 'different', 'fresh' and 'exciting' it was going to be for the entire talent show sub genre, it was neither here nor there.
The format is as simple as it always was - people who either reckon they can sing or reckon they can be rich, attention seekers apply for auditions, they "perform" to a few witless and tediously boring celebrities, who are given the title of judges, and another irritating bunch of lunatics, AKA the studio audience. This is where things do get slightly different, just not in the revolutionary and exciting way that was being made out. The judges are not looking at the performer during the audition, they are facing the audience. This is to give the impression that the applicant is being praised/criticised (poorly) solely based on their singing talent, as opposed to their looks. If any of the judges like what they hear, they have the opportunity to press a button which revolves their chair - thus making them look like half-naked Daleks with a loose wire - to face the stage which signifies that the judge has picked the performer for their 'team'. Then it returns to the all too familiar theme of the judges competing against each other using their respective teams, only they get to pick their teams as opposed to being given a categorised group.
I really wish I didn't feel like I had to explain all of that, but when you've got so many gullable monstrosities who clearly don't see things for what they truly are, you really don't have much choice. All I want to know is what people do see in this garbage excuse for televised programming, without receiving the same dull and thoughtless answers like 'it's a laugh', 'it's only a programme', 'there's nothing else on', 'each to their own' and all that crap. I'm talking about a genuine definitive reason to tune in. I want someone to try and sell it to me. I'd bank on that being virtually impossible. Even Britain's Got Talent has ran its course. How many more times are we going to be so shocked and get wet at a child being able to sing? You've seen it a thousand times now, get over it. I'm sick of this 'oh my god, I can't believe that kid has a decent voice.' Of course they do. Do you actually think that it takes years and years of training to be good at singing? If you answered 'yes' then you are down right stupid. You're even more delusional if you think it's something that just occurs suddenly when you reach a certain age. BGT is slightly more entertaining at times due to the fact that it welcomes all kinds of talent and you get folk walking on stage and doing some ridiculous acts. Other times, you're just embarrassed to be British.
One thing that annoyed the hell out of me during the current series of The Voice (I don't watch it, I just hear/read about things randomly) was the appearance of the band Beady Eye, fronted by former Oasis arse Liam Gallagher, to perform. As I'm typing, I'm contemplating an entire future blog post dedicated to my thoughts on Liam Gallagher as a human and as a musician, so I don't want to say too much about him. I will conclude this post with a one line teaser...
Having Liam Gallagher so much as appear on any talent show is as absurd as having a badly disfigured John McCririck appear on Britain's Next Top Model.
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What do you think? I won't be reading it, so knock yourself out.