Plenty to rape your eyes with in this post, my lovelies. Some cracking stories in the news recently that you may or may not have noticed, so let's not piss about.
7-time Tour De France winner, Lance Armstrong, was found to have used performance enhancing drugs and has been stripped of his titles, accomplishments and, most of all, every ounce of dignity he ever had. It makes me wonder if testicular cancer was a severe side effect that his dealer forgot to warn him about. When your testosterone levels are through the fucking roof, surely something's got to give.
With the amount of illegal substances floating around in his system, the uphill parts of the races couldn't have provided much more strain than having someone else make him a cup of tea. It may have reached a stage (no pun) where he thought he was actually taking part in the Tour De Saturn racing against The Clangers to the tune of the 'Magic Roundabout'.
Before I begin talking about the next story, I need to make this as clear as I possibly can - I DO find it extremely funny and not an inch of my heart or soul feels any kind of remorse, probably because I'm a cunt. Fair enough.
At this years annual V Festival, former X-Factor contestant and student of Will.I.Am (clearly not in the subject of English language), Cher Lloyd, was obliterated with bottles of urine ('piss' to you and me) and at a mere two songs into her set she cancelled the whole thing. Apparently she was 'in tears' after trying to calm down the crowd before she was struck dead centre with a bottle. It appears her 'Swagger Jagger' is of little use when it comes to being showered with #1.
Let's face it, this is a stark message to festival organisers everywhere which says 'don't bother booking shit pop like this for big festivals because nobody wants to see or hear it'. It is a call for music festivals to stick to what made them so popular - bands and musicians. Like it or not, the fact of the matter is that festival goers couldn't give two fucks about what the number one single is and who 'sings' it, they just want to see some bad-ass LIVE performances from credible and passionate artists. Cher Lloyd was the scapegoat, admittedly, but she epitimises what a lot of music fans view as a problem in the industry.
The thing that gets me is the obvious overreaction from her peers. X-Factor judge, Tulisa, branded the bottle throwers 'bullies' - a term which I feel is often overused and thrown around needlessly. Just because she is 19 years old doesn't make it bullying, would the same thing be said if she was 29? Was it bullying when 50 Cent was bottled off at Reading Festival in 2004? Is Fazer a bully for shagging Tulisa's face into oblivion? A rule of thumb is you have to take the good with the bad, especially if you're a talentless irritant like Cher Lloyd in a place you clearly don't belong - the public eye.
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